Assumptions

Do not ever think you know someone's story unless you've asked them or you've been privileged enough to have them tell you.  YOU DO NOT KNOW what someone has been through or is going through.  You have NO right to say, "Oh they don't know what it's like to struggle" or "Oh they haven't had this kind of life experience so they don't know."  You have zero clue what anyone has been through.  You cannot tell by looking at a person's current situation exactly where they've been or how they got to where they are or where they're headed.  

Don't ever assume that because someone doesn't look and act the way you think they should that it means they don't know.

Something happened to me today that really pushed a button.  Someone made an assumption about my life that was completely false.  Why?  They see where I am today, they see that I have great expectations, they see that I don't hang around with folks who have self-pity and play the victim - they assumed that means I've never been a victim or that I haven't had to ever work hard or piece things together to make it work.  They do. not. know.  I've experienced so much in my life that I don't even want to try and rehash it.  I don't live there anymore.  I know from very personal experience that you do have a choice as to whether you live your life as a person who has life happen to you and continues to allow yourself to be victimized - or you can be a victor.  You can live life triumphantly and rise so far above those circumstances that it seems as if it was another life.  It will always be a part of me - the struggles, the hurts, the pains, the things people "did to me" or things that life has thrown my way - but they will NEVER define me.  

There's this amazing quote from a Beth Moore bible study that I did YEARS and years ago and I've never forgotten it - I want to go through the fire and come out not even smelling like smoke.  It doesn't mean that it doesn't touch you or change you - it means God protected you so well and you made it to the other side so refined and changed profoundly that no matter what happened to you - you came out as if you'd never been touched by it.  You didn't even smell like smoke.  There's this really awesome explanation of it here: http://mom2momconnection.com/2007/10/04/refined-by-fire-beth-moores-daniel-week-3-of-12/

My point is this - just because you see who I am today - don't think I haven't been where you've been or in similar circumstances and even if I haven't - that doesn't mean I can't sympathize or have compassion for you. Just because someone chooses joy and chooses to live a different way, doesn't mean they don't understand or that they've never been there.  

Judge not lest ye be judged.  And I'm the first to need this message folks - don't for a second think I don't go around saying oh she should and he should and why doesn't he...blah blah blah...but I know it's wrong and I know how crappy it feels to be on the receiving end and that's why I've been over the last year and a half, making a conscious choice to keep my opinions out, my mouth shut and observe more.  To wish things were perhaps different, but realize that most people are doing the best they can with what they've got and love them where they are.  That doesn't mean I have to associate with it or get down in it in a way that's harmful, but it means I can love them from afar or give them prayer and encouragement in my own way.  It means I can be about the business of "doing me" and about the business of being a better person today than I was yesterday.  Be blessed readers.  Be blessed.