I've been feeling stuck and stagnant. I need movement. Positive, forward movement. This month has been soul-sucking. It's been energy-zapping. It's been a month that I'm having to recover from. I even feel as if there has been some backward movement. As October approaches I'm asking myself - what has changed? I know the answer to that question for certain. I'm also asking myself what am I now doing that I wasn't and what am I no longer doing that I was? In other words - have circumstances and environments changed? Yes. Have responsibilities and tasks, etc. changed. Yes. Have toxic and dysfunctional people been added to the mix? Yes. HOWEVER - there are things that I have not been making time for and I must. There are things that I'm doing that I need to stop and things that I've stopped doing that I need to start doing again. There is only one thing I can control in all of this right now. Me.
A friend of mine made a keen observation the other day and I only just thought about it this morning. I told her that all summer I had been going to acupuncture once a week, praying, journaling and meditating daily, practicing yoga and exercising three times a week. I told her that once September hit, most of this has gone by the way side. I have been trying hard to re-establish the routine and the habit - yet once the stress, aggravation, frustration, toxicity of certain people/situations etc. hit, I allowed all of that negativity to take over.
Enter in stagnation. Enter in old patterns and negativity. Enter in the feeling of helplessness.
BUT!
Those of you who know me, know I believe in God, and I believe God wants us to live a good and purposeful life. I believe God does not want us to be under constant stress or worry - I'm not saying - you will not suffer or you will not go through some serious 'stuff' - that is promised. What I am saying is - the way you move through it must be different if you truly believe in God. The way you handle your day-to-day and moment to moment life - must be intentional.
So today - I'm recommitting to self-care and healing. I'm recommitting to putting forth positive energy. To DAILY prayer and meditation. To going to yoga and exercising three times a week (I've cut back to only once a week and that just isn't working). I'm also committed to making a plan that will bring movement and momentum. I'm ready to move forward and I know I'm the one who has the power to control ME. I do not have control over some situations or circumstances, but I do have control over my reactions, my energy, my thoughts, my attitude, and my actions! No one else gets to have that power.
Here's to movement! Happy Sunday.
