Today is my birthday. I'm 39. I'm "almost 40" and I thought I'd have done a lot of things by now. I have these ideas and dreams that are still waiting to come to fruition. I have doubts and questions about where I'm headed and some regrets about where I've been. Today, my co-workers, my students, family and friends have all showered me with gifts, cards, messages and phone calls. I feel overwhelmed by the love. I feel bursting with joy - not because of the things, but because of the thoughtfulness and care. A lot of my kids don't have extra and the fact that they spent time or money to say, Happy Birthday to me just melts my heart. My co-workers got me a card and a gift card. My family showered me with sweet messages and phone calls - esp. cute were the video messages from my niece and nephew. My grandma never misses getting a card to me on time! My husband has big plans for tomorrow night and brought me flowers and a card that made me cry. And of course - there's all the sweet Facebook posts and texts and calls from friends. I got to dress up as Pocahontas and surprise my kids and co-workers - who all loved it! Is it a perfect day? No. I am sick, I had to give a test and of course, discipline students and work all day past my contracted hours in a messed up system that I frequently disagree with on many levels. I don't get to celebrate with family today, but next week. I'm exhausted from a long week. That's life. Life is messy and challenging and imperfect, but it's good. It's so good. I'm alive and breathing and have all my faculties (mostly) about me and so many people who love me and whom I love. SO many people. That's what it's about at the end of every day - the human connections and relationships that are the foundation of a truly happy life. I just wanted to write it - for myself - for you - that happy is right here and now. In this moment I feel that yes, I want more and yes, I still have dreams and desires yet unfulfilled, but I am right where I am supposed to be. One of my favorite sayings is "My cup runneth over" because it fits this feeling perfectly. This is one of those times when you just say that special prayer, "God, thank you, thank you, thank you." Amen.
