Would you rather be right or be happy? The truth is, I think majority of people think they want to be happy. In reality though, most people spend their time needing and trying to be right. Or some of you are saying, both. I want to be both right and happy. Or perhaps, you're saying, I'm happiest when I'm right.
What has being "right" really gotten you? Being right is about competition. Being right is about showing others just how much you know and in some ways, it's also about being superior. I've told you before how I cannot stand a know-it-all personality-type - no one can. It breeds resentment and makes people feel bad. No one likes to be "told." No one enjoys feeling like they have been put down or corrected. Don't think I sit here blameless as I type - I've definitely done my fair share of I know better than you, you should do this, you need to do that...etc. etc. I'm aware of my own stuff and it's really unflattering - truly.
If they think they're right - you're not going to change them. I've rarely seen two passionate people who truly believe they're right about ANY topic or issue come away from an argument or discussion saying, wow, I'm so glad you brought this to my attention, I never thought of it that way and I have now changed my mind and believe you to be right. I'm not saying it can't happen or that it hasn't happened, I'm just saying that's not been my experience. Typically, they walk away thinking, how can this person not see how wrong they are or how right I am? How can they not see that they are on the wrong side of things?
Most arguments boil down to experiences. This is the way I perceive it or experience it. This is they way it is *to me*. That doesn't mean that's what the other person sees or experiences. If we are truly practicing compassion, we may try to see how the other could think, feel or believe the way they do and what experiences may have led them to those conclusions.
In a relationship, if you've got to be right all the time, you're going to be unhappy. Period. You can be right all you want, but if you keep that up, what you will be eventually is, alone. Learn that you aren't always right and that in fact, many times, no one is really "right" or "wrong" most of the time, it's just the perspective is different. Feelings and emotions are not correct or incorrect, they just are. Practice viewing things from you partner's standpoint and with compassion and love. Practice patience and understanding. It's about partnership, not competition. Let go of the need or want to be right and sit with the difficulty of loving. Yep, sometimes, real love feels difficult because it stretches you beyond your comfort level, but it's about growth. Being happy sometimes means growth and almost always means acceptance. Let some things go.
What is one thing you can do today to show that you don't need to be right? What is one thing you can do today to increase your true happiness?
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