Compassion

Yesterday, I woke up cranky. I wanted my husband home, the house cleaned, the driveway shoveled, the cats to stop annoying me...to be financially independent so I never have to think about work...why didn't I win the lotto (I didn't play)....and the snowball effect began...the spiraling of thoughts.  STOP!  I told myself.  I meditated - TWICE - because I could (another snow day).  I prayed.  God answered.  Love it when that happens.  God told me to put into practice what I've been learning and don't fall back into old habits.  Be grateful.   I started naming out loud all the things I'm grateful for.  I picked up the "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff" book and I read.  I'm at "chapter" 5 now. 

Develop your Compassion.  That's the title.  I cried a little when reading it because it really hit home for me. Sometimes I can be an incredibly compassionate person (esp. at work with my kids), but sometimes I can be the direct opposite.  Sometimes I can judge the heck out of folks and situations and of course, out of myself.  I did it to myself yesterday morning- or at least I started to - the judgment.  Why are you feeling this way?  You should be grateful, you should feel this or that.  You should be practicing what you're preaching.  Should, should, should, should.  Instead I stopped.  I said, What can I do about how I'm feeling?  Do I want to keep feeling this way today or do I want to get out of it?  I decided I wanted to get out of it.  So I did.  

Of course, be compassionate with yourself first.  Then as the book is talking about extend that to others.  That's what I'm learning now - I must feel things for myself (confidence, trust, compassion, etc.) first and then extend out.  Carlson points out that compassion is something we develop with practice.  Put ourselves in the other person's shoes, feel love for them and then do something.  First the intention to love and care, next the action to do something about it.  "It's not so important what you do, just that you do something."  So a simple smile, hug, hello or some other way of helping and showing you care.  Compassion is about understanding we are all going through something and I learned this a long time ago (from a sermon) if you put your problems and the other person's problems on the table and were asked to trade, you'd probably take yours back.  

"Compassion develops your sense of gratitude by taking attention off all the little things that most of us have learned to take too seriously.  When you take time, often, to reflect on the miracle of life - the miracle that you are even able to read this book - the gift of sight, of love, and all the rest, it can help to remind you that many of the things that you think of as "big stuff" are really just "small stuff" that you are turning into big stuff."

That's my biggest goal this year - stop turning the small stuff into big stuff and it has already begun!