Toxic

Toxic and dysfunctional environments breed toxic and dysfunctional people.  Even if you're a positive, over-all happy, functioning person - the toxicity will eventually take you over.  At the first sign of this you must leave before it takes it's toll on you both physically and emotionally.  What exactly defines a toxic environment?  There are so many articles written about this, but here's my compiled list from my own personal experience.

1) Lying is normal. No one should have to constantly question what is real or fake around them - they should be able to feel that they are being told the truth at all times and that they can trust those people around them.

2) You feel undervalued and underappreciated on a consistent, regular basis. You aren't complimented, you aren't acknowledged, what you do right isn't talked about, yet what you do wrong is highlighted.  You aren't compensated for your time and efforts - either monetarily (as in a work environment) or returned favors, taking turns with duties, etc.  

3) You aren't heard.  You feel as if you don't have a voice or if you do, you will either be shut down, dismissed, discounted or retaliated against for sharing your feelings or concerns.  While every little thing or every little complaint doesn't need to be made into a huge deal, your feelings and concerns should at least be heard and listened to with respect and understanding.

4) You feel put down.  When people are speaking to you or acting as if you're beneath them or as if you're naive or ignorant - whether you are or aren't - it's rude, demeaning and hurtful.  There's a way to inform people without being condescending or chastising.

5) There's a lack of trust (see number 1 - lying) and inconsistency in how people behave - saying one thing and doing another or telling people one thing to their face, but saying something different behind their back.  There's no loyalty or feeling that someone has your back and would support you, esp. in times of difficulty or strain.

6) You are abused in any way - verbally or physically.

7) You feel helpless or hopeless and long for a way out.  If you're constantly day-dreaming of a way out or actively looking for one ... it's time to go!

If you're experiencing any of this in your work, home, church, organization, etc.  You have the right to speak up and ask for change or you have the right to leave. No one can grow, blossom, be their best self or even strive to be, if they are in an environment like this!  These types of places are not conducive to learning, growing, facing challenges, productivity or positive outcomes!  If you stay too long you will either self-destruct or become destructive - or both.  You will begin to take on these traits and could become a toxic person too!