So is this what it takes to be beautiful? I wanted to buy another soap yesterday - the latest thing that is supposed to clear your skin and make your pores smaller, cleanse and beautify. Before I did that I said, let me see how much soap we already have. It was an entire gallon bag full of it - unopened. I decided I didn't want to throw it all away, but what could I do with it? Google. Shelters can take donations. I called around, no one answered, except the Salvation Army, so I asked them and they said absolutely we can take it and we brought that gallon bag of unopened soap to a good home and I felt good that we didn't just toss it.
I also wanted to buy another lotion. My mother-in-law gave me this wonderful tube of hand lotion and I really like it and the way it smells and feels, but I've used it all up and so I wanted more. Then I looked around and said, whoa, I have SO many lotions! I have 20 lotions. 20! What in the world??
It got me thinking about all the stuff I have in order to be "beautiful" ... from make up to lotions, to hair removal, hair care, nails, skin, etc. etc. It's TOO MUCH! I realized that I'm not a clothes horse; I don't buy that many clothes and I purge my closet every season and give to Goodwill whatever I haven't worn that season. I don't buy shoes often enough probably. I wait until they have holes in them and then get rid of them and buy a new pair. However, I buy way too many lotions and potions and the latest thing that will "make me beautiful." I want to look like I'm 21 and smell like a flower all the time while being hairless everywhere except my head and that hair needs to be perfect and smooth and lovely...
I'm not 21, my legs are currently unshaven, and I don't always smell like a daisy. I'm a real woman and I rarely look at myself and think I'm beautiful. To be perfectly honest with you, I rarely look at myself at all. I think when I was younger I may have had an outward, false sense of confidence and pride in my looks, but as I grew up that was teased and bullied out of me rather quickly. I soon learned that to be confident or proud even, of what you looked like was to be "stuck up" or "full of yourself" or even "vain." Whatever I was confident about in my looks was torn down by others and slowly, I began to feel less than. I began to focus on what I need to change or "fix" and lost the focus on what was beautiful about me.
This is a problem that has persisted my entire adult life. How do I look? That question. Then there are other times when I just am like, well, this is good enough. The weight wasn't a factor until the last five years or so, but that's a whole other blog. I think the problem of what is beautiful for a woman becomes more intense as we age and then not only do we have to look "good," but we also now have to look young. But we aren't young...
Step in - beauty business - buy this and you'll be beautiful! It became a quest. I want to be beautiful and so all these products claim that I'll be 20 years younger and have perfect skin, hair, nails - I will become beautiful if I just pluck it, slather it on, wax it, shave it, tease it, lotion it, perfume it, lacquer it, buff and shine it (whatever it is).
And you know what I've discovered - on this journey to loving myself? The real beauty secret is health. Mental health. Wellness from the inside out. Take care of yourself, eat well, exercise your body, take care of your MIND and mental well-being, your SPIRIT and the rest of the stuff won't matter quite as much. I've been doing a daily affirmation with my kids and we say, "I am kind. I am honest. I am enough. I am loved." and at the end we give ourselves a big hug. I did it as much for them as I did for me. I thought - maybe if someone had taught me these things from the time I was young - it would be easier for me to believe and live into now.
P.S. I have now decided I will have ONE of each "beauty" item and use it until it's gone - not only to cut down on my spending on this stuff, but also to remind myself that how I feel about myself is the most important thing I have.
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